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| Me & Daddy Then |
One of the best gifts I received for my birthday this year came in my favorite form - words. Surprise! My dad is infamous for the e-cards he sends my siblings and me (at least the five out of seven that aren't living at home). No, seriously, ask any of them. It's his thing and I love it. It is so special, because he even tries to get as many thoughts into the total amount of allowed characters. He uses the super cool shorthand and all that fun stuff. (My mom secretly revealed that he sits and sits in front of the computer trying to figure out how to condense his words. Time well spent in my opinion! Sorry for calling you out, mom!) But, seriously, sometimes it takes me a few minutes to try and read his "language." (I love it, dad! It's like a game)
Anyways, you get the picture.
My birthday comes and shockingly - I get an e-card from my dad. (He may or may not have first sent one to my brother thinking it was his birthday instead - which is tomorrow. But who can blame him when he has 7 of us to keep track of! I did give him a little trick to remember though - I'm the 3rd born child on the 3rd day of the 3rd month. Crazy, right?! Crossing my fingers for next year!) If you haven't noticed, I'm really liking these parentheses today!
Anyways, again.
I get towards the end of the allotted characters and my dad says, "Britt I hope you are excited about your future cause I am." There it was. My dad, the one who raised me, supported me, loved me, prayed for me all these years, is excited about my future. About my life and where it is going.
For those of you who don't know - one year ago, no one was excited about my future, not even me. What am I saying, especially not me! From where I was standing, I had no real future. I had no dreams. I had no aspirations. I was pulling myself through life day by day, hour by hour. My future was bleak. Barren. I may even go as far as saying my future would lead to death. (See Psalms 37:38 NLT) And I am sure it broke my dad's heart.
But now, and it brings tears to my eyes (unashamed crier if you don't know me) my dad's heart is no longer broken. It's joyful. It's excited. It's hopeful. For me. For my life.
My dad didn't stop there, though. He went on to tell me why he was excited about my future. "You are on a journey & you are seeing with His eyes & hearing with His ears & will be used in His ways 4 His best..." (He used an ellipse there - 3 character spaces. So it must be important! Or he knows that I oddly love ellipses - you know this if we have ever texted) There it was. My heavenly Father, the one who thought of me, created me, loves me with a passionate love, and sent His Son to die for me is excited about my future. About my life and where He is leading me.
More tears. I cry for all those lost years of living without hope, joy, or a promise of a bright future. I cry for all the hurt I caused my dad and family. I cry for the pain God felt when I turned my back on Him and rejected Him. I cry because I cannot take any of it back.
I struggled with these feelings for awhile after I restored my relationship with my heavenly Father. I thought I was too broken to fix. Too hopeless for a promising future. I thought it would be impossible to make up all my lost time. And during those terrible nights of feeling damaged beyond repair, God kept putting a verse on my heart. (Kind of a big deal since I had barely opened my Bible in years) It is a verse we all know well, but it has taken on a new meaning for me. A real, deep meaning.
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
No more tears, no more sadness. Despite my past and all the pain I felt and caused, I can hold on to this promise. A promise for hope and for good and for a future. My heavenly Father is excited about it! My earthly dad is excited about it! And I am excited about it!
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| Me & Daddy Now |
